Getting Dialed In

I feel like I've been living in a bubble. New words buzz around: Pinterest, Groupon, Scentsy, Stroller Strides, and others I haven't yet heard enough times to recall. But I'm getting dialed in.

I started pinning a few days ago and have done two of the activities I pinned (all artwork involving baby hands and feet, yay!).

I used packaging paper because I figured the project would be a bust.
We haven't had much luck with handprints. But it turned out so cute.

Emaryn and Milo are pretty crafty little ladies.

Emaryn's "heartwork" The image on Pinterest was of hands,
but Emaryn isn't too keen on opening up her fisties, so we used feet.

I also joined Groupon and bought my first one: a photobook at Picabo worth more than the cost. I've compiled the photos I want to include (Emaryn of course), but I haven't started working on the actual pages.

I was stoked when a woman at Stroller Strides asked who wanted to check out her new Scentsy catalog because I'd been wondering what the heck people were talking about. But I was underwhelmed with the products. My space is quite full with baby gear and toys. I can't imagine adding overpriced candles to the mix.

I saved the best for last: Stroller Strides. My friend Stefanie first mentioned it a few months ago when I said I wished there was an aerobics class that incorporated babies. I'd been attempting to follow an aerobics DVD while entertaining Em. I usually ended up with her in my arms. The extra weight was good for my workout but not quite what I was going for. A few weeks after Stef told me about Stroller Strides, I met an avid Stroller Strides participant at a party at my friend Colette's house in Temecula. I was able to ask a bunch of questions and get pumped about trying out the class. Grant the Manimal passed the next day (8/19/12), and I lost momentum. Then I got a Meetup notification about a Stroller Strides class in another city and chose to surf the SS site. Em and I went to class the next day and haven't missed a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday since. We even bought all the gear, including an amazing BOB Revolution SE jogging stroller.

Em fell asleep during her first stroll in the BOB.
I wheeled it into the house and let her sleep.

I still have a way to go before I'll know what all the buzz is about. Instagram? But I am coming out of the dark (communist China blocks all the cook Internet gadgets). And I like it =)

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Grant the Manimal, my faithful buddy for the past 8 1/2 years passed away on 8/19/12.

2009

I adopted him on January 31, 2004 from Escondido Humane Society. They thought he was about 1 or 2, so he was about 10 when he made his way over the Rainbow Bridge. I'm not ready to recap our times together; this is just a short tribute that I committed to getting down this month.

Grant had been living the good life as an old man the past two years with my parents and their two dogs, while I was in China. I had the good fortune to be here with him his last 2 1/2 months. And my baby girl got to spend time with him too. My babies had fun getting to know each other. I thank my parents for capturing the last photo of Grant earlier this month - my favorite picture of him...

My Babies

Grant went quickly. He stopped eating and after a few days, communicated with me that he was ready to go. I didn't want to put him through unnecessary suffering at the vet, a place he never enjoyed. My family and I struggled with my choice, but we made the call a few hours after we realized it was time to fight for his life or help him go. I called Peaceful Passing on Saturday night, and a husband and wife team came to the house the next morning. They sedated him and gave me time alone with him to say our last see-you-laters as he fell asleep. Then I hugged him one last time as they administered the shot that ended his life.

This past Monday, I got a package in the mail of his pawprint in clay. I am so grateful for the surprise gift.

Peaceful Passing and Peaceful Paws, thank you for making the end as smooth as possible for Grant and his family.

Grant, thank you for picking me to be your person. I love you forever.

Emaryn's 100th Day Celebration

A few weeks ago, my husband called from China to tell me I had to throw a party for our daughter's 100th day. He is in China working while Emaryn and I enjoy a long vacation (all summer) in San Diego. I did the math; I had a week. Other than telling me it had to be special and to spare no expense, he didn't give me many details. Thank you Ben Berners-Lee! My mom and I googled our way to a minimal understanding about Chinese babies' 100th day celebrations.

One hundred days is considered significant because surviving them shows it is likely the baby will have a long life. The party gives parents the opportunity to celebrate their baby's survival and wish her long life.

"Red" eggs should be out on the tables because eggs' smooth oval shape symbolizes perfection. I was excited when I read "red;" I had visions of a big pot of hard-boiled eggs bathing in red dye. But my husband corrected me; "red" eggs are really brown eggs. I argued the merit of having brighter red eggs, but he responded with a determined no. He said Emaryn would look back at the pictures and begrudge my blunder. So brown eggs we boiled. I came up with the idea to make one for each person and write their names on them as place markers, and my mom had the wherewithal to YouTube search origami egg holders. We made the holders red, pink, and a few green to match the cake. The eggs were a big hit as many people ate them upon arrival. 

Thanks to Ashleigh, Emaryn had a cool dragon coin with her egg.

Another fact that we latched onto was that the guest of honor wears a silver "longevity lock" around her neck and special engraved bracelets. Thanks to my colleagues at Beijing International Studies University, we have both! The guest of honor wears a red dress and the other guests wear their Sunday best to show that they wish the baby a long and happy life. 

Ashleigh also gave her the jade dragon necklace.
It is very special because Emaryn was born in the year of the dragon.

We read about a lot more significant things to celebrate a baby's 100th day, but Tiger wasn't familiar with them, so we went with the eggs and jewelry. I also gave her flowers because I read that flowers are important on a few websites. And I love flowers. We held the party at P.F. Chang's in Carlsbad because it's Chinese and delicious. Their patio is the perfect size for a party of 18. 

I was and always will be a proud mama.

When Emaryn wasn't sleeping, we passed her around, and she charmed everyone, as usual. 

Emaryn and Ashleigh

The New Center of Team Forever

Made in China

This is not a rant about buying American. This is about my babyyyy! And she could wake up any moment, so I better get right to it.

First, I do not recommend giving birth in China. Unless you have an amazing insurance package that covers international hospitals or you are fluent in medical Chinese, just don't do it.

I have good connections, a necessity in China. The mother of one of the boys I tutored set me up with the director of the OBGyn department at Beijing Hospital. I didn't stand in lines, and I could call my doctor's cell with any questions or concerns. We went out to dinner a few times. We were tight. And she made promises. Important ones. I was to have an epidural, a luxury that usually only hospital staff receive. My husband was to be allowed in the delivery room; Chinese women give birth alone. I was only to have an episiotomy if the baby was in danger. I was to hold my baby for 30 minutes after delivery before she got wisked away.

BUT I delivered 10 days early, and my doctor was out of town. So I did not get an epidural, my husband was not allowed in the delivery room, I was given an episiotomy (with absolutely no pain medication), and I did not even get to glance at my baby in the delivery room. My only instructions during delivery were, "Push like take shit" in strongly accented Chinglish. It's funny now, but it wasn't then. Doctors and nurses kept shoving pieces of dark chocolate in my mouth. Granted, I was starving and exhausted, but I kept spitting and barfing chocolate.

Once I was sewn up (still no pain meds), they (I use the pronoun without an antecedent because I have no idea who "they" were) wheeled me into my room, and my baby got wheeled in shortly thereafter. Yay! I will save the delighted mommy stories for a happier post.

I was in the hospital for 4 miserable days. Chinese tradition dictates new moms and babies must stay warm, avoid wind, not eat fruit, and a bunch of other uncomfortable crap. The baby and I roasted. When I ventured out into the hallway toward an open window, nurses, other new moms, visitors, and their cousin's friend's brother's teacher yelled at me. I once opened a window in my room and ate an apple when my "aiyi" was having lunch. She came back just as I was closing the window and had an apple core in my hand. She gave me holy hell.

Enough complaining for now. My baby is healthy and happy. But I will not have a baby in China ever again. I haven't even mentioned the difficulties we went through to get her American citizenship and the fact that the Chinese government doesn't recognize it...

At Jingshan Park when Emaryn was 7 weeks old

At Jingshan Park overlooking the Forbidden City

Going to the Chapel

Most little girls spend a considerable amount of time daydreaming about fairytale weddings. Not me. I was content to picture myself happily single or occasionally but always temporarily coupled up, but living in my own house and spending my own money. So imagine my shock when I found myself trying on wedding dresses! White ones! With veils!

The day after tomorrow (tomorrow in 20 minutes), I will indeed marry my prince charming while decked out in a big white dress and a veil. I happily found a white "wedding dress" that isn't all white though; the bodice is purple =) And I won't put the veil over my eyes, just my shoulders - to hide some tattoos, haha! And I won't be walking down an aisle because we'll be in a big room in a restaurant here in Dalian, China. But my dad will escort me from the door of the room to the front of the room. And a Chinese friend will read the traditional wedding vows (I hope she practiced). We also ordered a wedding cake, but I wanted it to look Chinese so we asked them to paint the double happiness characters on the top.

Some friends escorted us from our hotel to the restaurant.
The characters on the sides of the doors mean double happiness .
They are placed outside before and after a wedding.
They stay posted outside for a few weeks.

More double happiness =)

We had 4 tables of 10 people in the room of the restaurant.
All the food included seafood, so we had to get a few special dishes at our table for me (vegetarian).

This is my favorite picture of the day.
We had so much fun jumping over and over to try to get a good shot.
 Both of our parents and the man of honor (Sun from Shanghai) and my maid
of honor (Eva from Austria) helped make the day really special.

We threw the wedding together in just a few weeks, but I think we (Tiger; I've been sick and whiney) did an amazing job of blending Chinese and American traditions (at least in the planning; I can't speak for the execution yet).

We're getting married in Dalian even though most of our friends live in Beijing because we have to. Chinese citizens have what's called a hukou that says which city and province they are from. People are supposed to live and work in the same city their whole lives. Children can only attend public school in the city listed on their parents' hukou. And important paperwork, such as marriage, must be performed in that city. So, when the university gave me two unexpected weeks off, off we went to Dalian to get hitched. We did all the paperwork 9/20, and the ceremony is 10/2. My parents were already coming to China for a visit, so we postponed the celebration so they could be here with me. Yay! I will see them tomorrow!

Just Married, October 2, 2011

New Obsession: Jane Austen

In the past 2 weeks, I read Emma, Mansfield Park, Northanger Abby, Sense and Sensibility, and Persuasion (not in that order). I would've reread Pride and Prejudice, but I'm on dial-up at a hotel in Dalian, and can't download it onto my nook. P.S. If you don't own an ereader (I recommend Barnes & Noble's nook), you should get one. It's so amazing to want a book, get it, and start reading it within seconds. Plus, you can carry around hundreds of books in your purse. Back to Jane: Why didn't anyone besides teachers of questionable taste tell me how fun it is to read Jane Austen? Admittedly, my friend April (yeah you, Anderson or whatever your name is now; I should know this) has professed a passionate interest in Jane Austen, but I figured the interest was academic.

I love Jane Austen! I read Emma in school many years back, but I didn't get into it at all. I did like the movie with Gwenyth Paltrow though. It was funny to see her when I was reading the book. And remember the movie Clueless with (what's her name? - the vegan who writes cookbooks)? That movie is based on Emma too! Remember the photo in the locker... the painted portrait of... I already forgot all the character names because I read them so fast. I just downloaded and watched Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet - wicked fun! I hope there's a decent film adaptation of Persuasion. I want to watch them all.

So... I guess the fact that I recently got engaged and technically married, and my wedding ceremony is the day after tomorrow might have something to do with my heightened interest in the sweet stories Austen so brilliantly unfolds. But what I love about her is how unbrilliant her characters are. They are regular people, albeit rich and kept, doing regular things. But I feel like I know them so well (okay knew because I've forgotten them). I'm glad I forgot them because now I can read them again.

If anyone is wondering why I have had the leisure to read so much in such a short time: my students just completed 2 weeks of military training (no foreigners allowed on campus, even the foreign students), and next week is China's National Day, during which the education system and most other systems (not transportation or anything fun) shuts down for a week. And I've had a nasty cold/cough. But I'm feeling much better. Thanks =)

Trains in China

The people I've talked to about the process of buying train tickets have all commented about how interesting it is (or backwards), so I thought I'd provide a few details right here.

First, you can only buy one-way tickets. That means you have to buy your return ticket when you arrive at your destination or ask a friend (or a friend to ask their cousin's ex-boyfriend's former boss' daughter's former roommate's aunt...) at your destination to buy one for you. People are very accommodating when it comes to helping out an acquaintance's acquaintance get a train ticket.

Second, you can only buy a ticket 10 or fewer days before your departure.

Third, you can almost never go to the station and buy the ticket you want because they are sold out, seemingly before they go on sale. That means you have to use your web of connections (关系, guanxi in Chinese) to get a ticket.

I'm lucky. Tiger has a friend he can call (Sean). We don't know the details of Sean's connection to train tickets. Tiger just calls him, and he calls Tiger back with a phone number. Tiger calls the number and provides the details of what we want. The guy gives us a price and tells us where to meet him with the cash. Once, it was a woman. We meet the man or woman inside a subway station, exchange the cash for the tickets, and we are set. It sounds an awful lot like a high school drug deal, I know, but that's how it's done.

There are different compartments in the train. For overnight trains, soft or hard sleepers are the best. I've never been in a soft sleeper, but they're the most expensive. Hard sleepers have a set of triple bunks in each compartment. Bottom bunks are preferred because you can sit up in them. However, because people can't sit up in the middle or top bunks, people often sit on a stranger's bottom bunk. I've had all three beds at one time. For shorter night trains (8 hours), I'm okay with any bed. But for longer trips (10-15 hours), I want a bottom bunk. There are some seats in the car but only 2 per compartment, so they fill up fast.

I took this from the top bunk.

Can you see my head way up there?

Tiger and I just secured tickets to Qingdao, the city where the beer Tsingtao is made. We're going on Tuesday morning. The trip is only 5 hours, so we got seats. This will be my first time in a car with seats. We plan to take a boat from Qingdao to Dalian. Both cities are on the coast, and I'm looking forward to hitting the beach. I have to wait until the 8th to ask someone in Dalian to buy me a ticket back to Beijing =/ Tiger is between projects, so he will hang out in Dalian another week.

FAME

Fame, makes a man take things over
Fame, lets him loose, hard to swallow
Fame, puts you there, where things are hollow
Fame

Thank you David Bowie for putting a negative spin on the fame I've received as of late. Heeyaha. Seriously though, I feel like a rock star. First CCTV 1's  焦点访谈 (English name: Focus) interviewed me. Then I ran into two huge posters of my face near the Guomao subway station.

Both incidents have mellow explanations compared to the fame that followed. A friend of Tiger's works at CCTV 1 (China's main TV station), and her colleagues, who work for Focus, asked if she knew any foreigners who could talk about the Red Army. She asked Tiger if he knew anyone, and voila, I was on TV. I had to reschedule a few times because I got sick (vomited my brains out). But here is the end result. It aired on July 9th at 7:30PM (right after the news).

Both Tiger and I got a bunch of text messages and phone calls right after my segment asking what the hell I was doing on TV. One of Tiger's respected commie friends asked if I want to join the party. HaHa.

The posters advertise a free demo class at New Channel, a private language school I teach at part-time. The class was yesterday. There were about 30 people there, and it looked like  most of them signed up afterward. I get a bonus if more than 8 people register, so I will know on payday. Wheeee! 

I don't have any plans to take anything over at the moment, but it is fun to be out there =)

Beijing Hospitality Institute - The Facts... and opinions =)

An American recently contacted me about Beijing Hospitality Institute because she ran into my blog while researching the school. I told her my reply to her email would be my warmup to a blog entry... Here it is:

The most important bit of information for foreign teachers considering applying to BHI: there are two departments which employ foreigners: the English Department and the International and Vocational Program. Some of the differences are as follows:

English Department: 8,000 RMB/month plus an apartment in a fun and convenient location in downtown Beijing (subway line 10, Shuangjing station), teach approx. 18 hours/week but must spend the remaining hours of 4 days each week in one of the department offices

International and Vocational Program: 6,000 RMB/month and an apartment near the school, which is located in a boring district called Daxing (about 1.5 hours from downtown by bus or subway) OR 7,000 RMB/month and you arrange your own apartment wherever you want (more details about this later), teach approx. 18 hours/week and don't spend an extra minute on campus for a total of 2.5 days spent at school

I worked for the International and Vocational Program. I live downtown (near the Sihui subway station on line 1) with my boyfriend. Our rent is 4000 RMB/month (average in our area, which is fun and cool and expensive-ish), so I earn 7,000/month at BHI and pay 2,000/month on rent, leaving 5,000 RMB/month left over (more than enough to live better than the average Chinese person and save for traveling).

I also have a few part-time jobs; I tutor at a small business school (elementary to high school students), and I taught a ten-week "Advanced Corporate English" course for a high-tech company.  6,000-7,000 RMB is more than enough money to live a great life here. I picked up more work because I enjoy teaching in all those different environments simultaneously. AND I went back to the US during Spring Festival to defend my Master's thesis ($2,000 tuition plus airfare, boooooooo).

The people in charge of the program are pretty cool. Patrick, the department head, isn't around much, but he responds to text messages and phone calls efficiently. And by that, I mean he calls his second in command, Hilary, who gets things done with a bit of prodding. They are both chill and easy to get along with. I also appreciate how considerate they were when I missed a week of work when I was sick and another week when I went home to be with my family after my grandfather passed away. I made up a few classes, but most of the hours I missed were forgotten about.

Hilary and I in front of BHI

My 2nd favorite feature of BHI: My favorite thing about teaching is always the students... My second favorite feature at BHI is the hotel on campus that has sit-down toilets AND a western restaurant! You will often see foreigners traipsing across campus to hit up the toilets. And the western restaurant is full of foreigners every lunch. They serve hamburgers, fries, pizza, and many other western-influenced dishes. I'm a vegetarian, so my meal of choice is a mixed salad and a veggie pizza. The prices are great too, much cheaper than western restaurants downtown. There is also a Chinese restaurant in the hotel; my favorite dish is the squash dumplings. There is a cafeteria on campus that is REALLY CHEAP. They have noodles, hot pot, and a bunch of dishes to choose from. That food is ok, but most foreigners burn out on it after a month or two.

A few of my kick ass students =)
Muse, Doris, Danica, and Zoe

A Few Cons about teaching at BHI and China:
BHI is not a university. It is a private institution. The students' scores are not good enough for a university, so they basically buy their degrees here. My limited observations of Chinese teachers teaching has been disappointing; I have often witnessed teachers simply reading out of the textbook for 45 minutes. Students are permitted to play with their mobile phones, listen to music with headphones, and even to sleep. And I can't blame them for checking out when the classes are so incredibly BORING. The teachers are totally uninspired, and therefore, uninspiring. Also, the administration is chaotic and disorganized. I often received a text message that my classes were cancelled because of a field trip at 11:00 PM the night before the scheduled classes. Of course, I didn't mind those messages =) But the disorganization also means you must check your bank balance regularly to make sure your salary is deposited. Because of all the cash I earn at my part-time jobs, I rarely touch my bank account. I once figured out that my salary was short 1,000 RMB three months in a row. I had to go beg and plead and scream and yell to make sure the missing money was deposited, and it took several months to correct the mistake.

How to get what you want/need: Being nice when I want or need something works for me in the US. Americans generally choose to help me when I'm respectful and kind. That has not been the case here. If I stay calm, the person I'm talking to ignores me or repeats the same thing over and over until I lose my temper. Once there is color in my cheeks and my voice reaches a tight annoying pitch, people listen. So I've learned to add vigor to my requests right from the go. Also, try not to ASK people what you want them to do; just TELL them what to do. Otherwise, you will be confronted with ridiculous excuses.

Next year: I recently signed a contract for the 2011-2012 academic year with Beijing International Studies University (BISU). BISU is a public university, so students must score high on the national exam (college admission test). I will earn 1,000 RMB less/month, but I'm looking forward to teaching in a more rigorous environment. The Chinese teachers have PhDs and publish... It is a real university. I will keep you posted on how it goes.

I hope this email is helpful for those of you who ran into it searching for information about BHI. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions: positive0903@hotmail.com

Amazing Reads!

I just finished Dreams of Joy, Lisa See's sequel to Shanghai Girls, and I encourage people who are interested in a glimpse of Chinese history wrapped up in beautifully written tragedy, joy, love, desperation, and beauty to read both books.

Shanghai Girls starts out in glamorous 1930s Shanghai. Wealthy twenty-something-year-old sisters, Pearl and May, enjoy the fast-paced hustle and bustle of a city dominated by foreigners... until their father gambles everything away, and the girls are forced into arranged marriages. Then Japanese bombs fall on their beloved city, and they flee through the countryside, where horrible things happen. They eventually arrive in San Francisco and must endure months on Ellis Island.

bn.com Reviews and Links to Buy

Dreams of Joy details Pearl and May's daughter's (you'll have to read Shanghai Girls to understand why Joy belongs to both sisters) hasty journey to the People's Republic of China in 1957. Blinded by idealism, Joy throws herself into New China. She lives in a commune in the countryside during the Great Leap Forward... love, camaraderie, starvation, torture, murder... Pearl travels to China to rescue her daughter and spends months in Shanghai waiting and suffering...

That's all I'm giving you. If the story sounds even a little bit interesting, pick them up. I saw used copies of the first book at bn.com for $1.99.

bn.com Reviews and Links to Buy

My New Name: 尚娜 (ShangNa)

I have finally settled on characters for my Chinese name. Most people do this within their first few weeks of arriving in China. But I was lucky, or unlucky... My name is easy for Chinese people to say. Most of them probably assumed my name was my Chinese name. My closest friends here call me NaNa, a nickname based on what they assumed to be my Chinese given name.

So here it is: 尚娜 (ShangNa) For those of you who know about tones, Shang is 1st tone, Na is 4th tone.

I decided to use Shang instead of Shan because I wanted to keep the "aw" sound. Shan is flat. The only cool thing about Shan is I could've used the character for mountain. If you type the pinyin "shang" into Word, you get a choice of 11 characters. The first one I popped into a translator was 尚 because it's easy to write, haha. It means "to value." How rad is that!? So my search stopped there. My Chinese family name is now Shang. The Chinese list their family names before their given names.

Na is a common given name. I'm watching LiNa play in the French Open right now. Although, you probably call her NaLi in your part of the world (I'm assuming most of you live in N.A.). The character 娜 means graceful and elegant. I know those words don't actually describe meeee, but I like the character. The first part (女) is the character for female, and that I am =)

There you have it. I have a new name, although it sounds quite a bit like the one Momma and Pappason gave me.

Love and light,
尚娜

Badassminton

I have never been a fan of racket sports. I blamed being shot in the eye with a pellet gun when I was 14 for my shoddy depth perception. Yeah, that's why I can't hit the green ball or the blue ball or that crazy little white one. I have a legitimate excuse! An easy out to invitations to play all those damn sports. Living in China, the racket sport of choice is badminton. Every single Chinese person plays, and there are a lot of Chinese people.

I evaded every opportunity to play for about 8 months. Then last month one of my colleagues asked me to help her warmup before a tournament at school. It took about two minutes for me to realize what I had been missing. Within those two minutes, my heart rate was up, my muscles were warm, and my lips were taut in a smile. If I hadn't been wearing suit pants, a silk blouse, and fancy shoes, I would've played for hours.

That is not to say I was any good. Most of the warmth in my muscles was due to squatting to pick up the birdie =) But... I'm good now! I play at least twice a week, sometimes for four hours at a time. I spent the first few weeks talking my opponents into a strange objective: "Let's see how many times we can hit it back and forth." Their compliance helped me develop my swings without worrying too much about running all over the place. That shot in the eye excuse I had employed all those years really did give me some trouble. I'd swear I was about to smash that bad birdie only to have it fly just over my racket. So I trained my brain to move my arm up... Now, I move my eyes to where I want to hit the birdie and let my arm and brain work out the rest.

I played my first real games two days ago and won them both! No more "let's play nice" objective. I'm playing to win!

I <3 badassminton!

My Chicken Bus Story

My grandfather often wrote the most insane chicken bus stories detailing buses crammed with people and livestock, chairs strapped to the roof for more seating, car sickness due to hours of unpaved winding roads in Mexico, Thailand, Myanmar... My mom encouraged me to detail a recent adventure of mine in a similar fashion.

But my adventure doesn't include a bus (other than the one traversing the smooth stretch of road between LAX and the nearest Hilton) or chickens.

Before I give you my chicken bus story, please understand that I am still sleep deprived, jet lagged, and understandably worn out. I have not had a full night's sleep since I left San Diego. My good friend Ray had to submit his thesis yesterday morning, so my nights have been swallowed up with correcting his grammar and English as a foreign language writing. When I have hit the pillow (close to midnight), my brain was running at 125% and I lay there sleepless for hours at a time. Then I woke up and taught all day...and NIGHT. I started teaching a corporate English class this week (Tuesday and Thursday), so I'm not even home until after 9:00, when I commence with thesis revisions. OMG! But I love teaching the adults at Enics. They are some of the smartest people I have ever met, engineers and software designers...

Ok. The flight from San Diego to LA was short and sweet, except that I was puzzled about the boarding pass I received in SD for my LA to Beijing flight. Why did it say boarding time: 7:40 AM instead of 1:20 AM? I was stressed, wondering whether I got the time wrong or if the airport made a mistake. Once at the sprawling, 125-terminal LAX, I stuck to a girl armed with a paper that listed her flight time to Beijing as 1:40 AM. I thought if I followed her, surely the people at the China Air desk would put me on the 1:40 flight and not make me spend the night at the airport. We had to ask about 75 LAX employees (with limited English ability) to direct us to the international check-in at terminal 2. On the way I spotted arrival/departure screens and cringed when I saw "delayed" flashing in the same row as the information for the 1:40 AM flight to Beijing. Therefore, I was not surprised when the woman behind the check-in counter said, "Sorry but your flight has been delayed 7 hours." Then she added, "Board the bus with the other passengers to the Hilton." When that sunk in, my frown turned upside down. I had never stayed at a Hilton, but I was under the assumption that Hiltons are a wee bit more posh than Motel 6s.

Apparently my excitement about staying in a fancy hotel led to extra friendliness. The woman behind the Hilton counter laughed after everything I said and seemed pleased to announce, "I am putting you in an executive suite. Enjoy it." And that I did! Unfortunately, I didn't have any pajamas or clean clothes. In order to preserve the cleanliness of those I had on, I stripped, jumped in the non-water-preserving shower, and jumped into bed... a big, soft, cloud of a bed. I rolled around, stretched out, and rolled around some more. Then I chowed down on a Tofurky sausage I had the good sense to pack (ok, my mom had the good sense to tell me to pack it). The Hilton had prepared dinners for us, but they were of the meaty variety. Once full, I did more rolling and stretching. I didn't want to fall asleep without taking in as much luxury as my sleepy senses were capable of enjoying. Sadly, five hours passed in deep sleep, and before I knew it, I was on a bus back to the airport.

I spent the 2 hours at the airport walking around the terminal and spending the last of my American money, all the while keeping my eyes on the tallest group of Chinese men I had ever seen. Their backpacks were all embroidered with "China" and they wore matching green warmup jackets. I figured they were some sort of basketball team. I later learned that they were the Chinese olympic volleyball team. And I met the Chinese olympic diving team. The 2008 olympic gold medalist in diving actually spent most of the flight talking with a Chinese man in my row. The man is a Presbyterian pastor in America. There's a miniseries about his life on Chinese television (so he says). When he wasn't attempting to get me to commit to go to church, he was fascinating. I'm not sure how he crossed paths with the diver, but the kid (he's only 16 now, 13 when he won the gold medal in 2008), was enthralled with everything the man said. I took pictures but haven't unpacked the cable to connect my camera to my computer. Later.

I took a Tylenol PM but often woke up when my head slipped or my mouth hung open uncomfortable. I'd say I had about 4 hours of interrupted sleep. Not too bad. EXCEPT for the fact that I landed at 12:00, was home at 1:45, and had to get on the subway at 3:00 to go teach a new class. I barely had time to register the stink in my stale apartment. And I still haven't had time to do anything about it. My suitcase is still zipped up in the middle of my living room. My carryon is open on the kitchen table because I pulled out my makeup. I didn't make it home until 9:30 that night (I don't even know what night that was anymore). Did I mention that I spent a few hours that night working on Ray's thesis!? Then I woke up at 5:45 and worked all day. Spent the night at my friend Rebecca's because she lives close to school, allowing an hour of sleep-in time and taking off a few in commute. BUT I worked on that thesis again! And tossed and turned all night. Ahhhhhh! Then I taught all day yesterday and hopped in a van at 5:00 to go teach the corporate English class until 8:30. In my own bed by 10:00 but wired on the copious amounts of coffee I downed all day to make it through. And up at 6:00 AM, still wired. It's now 7:57 AM. Time to relax. I'll deal with the stink and suitcases and lack of fresh food later.

我 爱 我 父母！

I love my parents!

These are my beautiful parents. And when I say beautiful, I mean their faces AND their guts. I thought about flying home to attend my grandfather's memorial, but I just couldn't swing it without borrowing money... and I already owe them $1000 for paying half my tuition (just defended my thesis in February... that's right: it cost $2000 to talk about a paper I wrote for an hour or so with a few professors. Granted, the professors are AMAZING people, to whom I am eternally grateful for contributing to my education...). Anyhow, I did not approach the subject of flying home with my parents because I'm in a hole. Then, I got a short and sweet email from my momma: "Can you come to Grampa's memorial? We will buy you a ticket." Yippee! Thank you, Parents!

The planning of my grandfather's memorial has been a joyful bonding event for the Secor/Schute/Etc. family. Group emails literally warm me up several times a day (and that beautiful Beijing spring I was reveling in went back on vacation...it's cold here again, so I'm loving the cyberlove). Family members are compiling a list of Grampa's favorite songs to play at a low volume before, during, and after the memorial service. And I'm not talking about elevator music. Grampa's favorite album was The Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. A few Rolling Stones songs will also be played. The CD we plan to make will be full of great tunes. And my cousin Serena, who Grampa called Cinderella, is collecting photos of our grandfather and putting together a slideshow. She reportedly has some of him as a baby and child. Yay!

Thank you for financing my trip home so I can participate in and attend Grampa's memorial, Momma and Pappason! I will see you soon!

Ken Secor 11/1/2009

Date of the memorial: 4/23

I will head out the 14th and come back the 25th =)

What Would Grampa Do?

After spending 30+ hours in bed grieving the loss of my grandfather, I realized that he would be pissed if he knew I spent the first warm Beijing spring weekend in bed writing and crying (and watching Dexter). He would want me to be out there experiencing life. And that's what I did. Every bud on every tree and smile on every face reminded me of who my grandfather IS. My new modus operandi is "What would Grampa do?"

Spring has arrived in Beijing =)

"I have always said that if I have a bedroll and can find a bridge to sleep under, I will have a good time" (Ken Secor, 2/11/2011).

My grampa passed away last night in a hospital in South Korea. He had been battling pneumonia for several weeks and had a tracheotomy a few days ago.  He was traveling around Thailand and Burma when he got sick. No one knew that he was heading home. My aunt Margi got a call from the embassy that he was in a hospital in Korea, and she and my aunt Mary headed over there right away. They got a hotel near the hospital and have been sending daily updates since their arrival a few weeks ago. Some of their emails were sad and scary; some were cute. At one point, my aunts called my dad and all the "kids" (my aunts and uncles) so they could say goodbye. This is me saying goodbye.

I caught the travel bug from my gramps. Since I was a little kid, he spent the most part of most years in far away places. The first place I remember is Costa Rica. He  brought me Costa Rican money and a pancho in colors that I had never seen together. He talked excitedly about his experiences: the farming, the people, the food. Then it was Chiapas, Mexico, where he owned a small farm for many years. And of course, the trip that got his phones tapped: Cuba =) While I was in Switzerland, he and his dog Canella (often referred to by my dad's sibling as "step-mom") zigzagged through Europe for a year in his truck with a camper shell. He stopped in my town (Trun - way up in the Swiss alps) three times during that year. We visited castle ruins and ancient churches. But my favorite day was when it was raining so hard that we stayed in my apartment drinking coffee all day. He talked with me about his work; he spent his life fighting for workers' rights and campaigning for unions. He continued this work after he retired, contributing to newsletters, sitting on committees, and participating in various marches and events. I forget the details, but I remember his passion and commitment. He was a man who aligned every action with his beliefs. Our beliefs were not always simpatico, but his message to me was to live a life I love. And I am. Thank you, Grampa.

In Thailand (Nov. 2006)

Thailand (Nov. 2006)

Another bug I inherited from Grampa was dog loving. Many of the Secors did. Grampa loved his dogs. The first one I remember was Canella. Grampa lived on a boat somewhere in Mexico and Canella was what he called a boatyard dog: wild, living on what she scavenged. When Grampa came back to the U.S., he brought Canella with him. Their public displays of affection earned her the name "step-mom" from some of Grampa's kids. They were inseparable until Canella's death. A few years later, Canellita came into his life. She now lives with Margi and her two dogs (one she found wandering at Costco; the other was suffering a mean doggie sister at my brother's house), her cat, and whatever injured ducks cross her path. Margi is 125% her dad's daughter: love and light.

Grampa and Canellita
A Secor Christmas tradition:
we drape Grampa with all the bows
and ribbons while unwrapping presents

A FEW OF GRAMPA'S LAST EMAILS HOME

FEB. 6, 2011

I am in Myanmar now previously renamed by the British, Burma.  I'm having problems with the computers. Please excuse. When I was here last I just missed Chinese New Year. This time it came up while I was here. My Brother in law, Jake, who I am traveling with decided to go to China town to catch it. We took the number 53 bus. As we got closer the trafic almost stopped. It became so slow that the bus driver was reading a book between times when he could move. We finnaly got out of the bus and walked in the right direction. It was much faster. While walking we passed up three more number 53 busses that were stuck in trafic ahead of our bus. When we got to China town the street was blocked off and there was a policman about every 30 yards to keep the street clear. It was obvious that somthing was going to come down the street. The people were about 10 deep on either side of the street. We hoped that we were going to see some dancing drasgons or something like that come down the street.We stood there like that for over an hour. My legs were killing me. Then some cares came down the road. Most were black but one was a red mini Cooper. As soon as it passed The police allowed everyone back in the street. We finnaly found out that  the red Mini Cooper was what it was all about. It was the Kings daughter the Princes. I felt a little foolish for standing there all that time just to see the Princes pass by. She didn't even wave at me. 


While Jake and I have some kind of excuse for standing there that long. I wonder about all those other people, about 20,000 of them, that they would stand that long to see a red mini Copper pass by. They do love their royalty. The king is proably the most respected person in the world. No  one speakes evil of him. The fact that you can get 7 years in jail for disparaging the Monarcy has nothing to do with it. The king is in very bad health and is living in a hospital now. When he dies you will see ont of the most sectacular displays ever. they will propably breake out the dragon boats which are about 60 feet long and they are spectacular. Also the king will be caried to the funeral pyre on a golden carrage that takes up both sides of the road and is about 20 feet tall.


That's all i'm going to write right now as I am having problems whithe the computer.Pardoen the speeeling. Just guess at anything because I don't have time to go over it. 

More later.  

FEB. 11, 2011

I am having problems getting connected so I will make this short. We are in Mandalay where the flying fishes are supposed to play. Unfortunately it's a long way from any ocean and Kippling was never here. I wanted to tell a little more about Thailand and the Buddhist religion there. Women are not allowed to touch a monk. That even goes so far as to prohibit them from even handing a monk anything. If a woman wants to give a monk something she will either lay it down so that he can pick it up or hand it to a man to pass it on. neither women or men are allowed to go into a Buddhist shrine with their legs showing. If a women show up with a skirt that is above the ankles there is a monk there to issue her a long skirt that has an elastic in the wast so that she can just step into it. Small girls are exempt. The problem is that the monk at the door has to determine if she is really a small girl or a big girl.  He casts a glance up and down looking for hips and other things to make his determination. After a shift of that he probably has to go and have a talk with the enlightened one.


A little more about back packing in Thailand. Everyone who has ever backpacked in Thailand knows about Kohsan Road. It is only one block long but when people refur to it they are really talking about an area of several blocks around it. There are many cheap places to sleep in the area. On Kohsan Road itself there are only two types of people. backpackers and people trying to sell to backpackers. In the daytime the street is crowded. At night it's packed. That is the area where you can find out information about anyplace in the world that you might want to go. The people are always willing to talk about where they have been and what they have done and what they have run into. On any given day there are probably nearly a thousand backpackers in the area. You can get a bare bottom place to stay for as little as $4.50 a day. That will get you a bed, fan, toilet and shower out in the hall and almost always hot water. Anything more than that will cost a little more. Aircon will add a couple dollars a day.

If you want to go anywhere you can just go to the desk where you are staying and make the arrangements right there. You pay at the desk and they make the reservation and arrange for a van or other transportation the pick you up and get you to where you are supposed to be on time. I thing that is a great way to travel. I have always said that it I have a bed roll and can find a bridge to sleep under I will have a good time.

More later 

FEB. 19, 2011

Everyone who has traveled or heard much about Thailand knows about their street massage parlors. They are usually a half dozen or more lounges lined up along the side of the street and you just lay down and they will message anything that is legal to message in public. I saw A WHOLE FAMILY GETTING MESSAGES AT ON PLACE. THERE WAS THE FATHER, MOTHER, AND 2 YOUNG DAUGHTERS THE OLDEST WAS ABOUT 11 AND THE YOUNGER A COUPLE YEARS YOUNGER. The girls were giggling like crazy as this adult man massages they little feets. Since I was last here something has been added. It's called The fish spa. There is a tank of water about 12 feet long. It's transparent so you can see through it. Inside there are about 1,000 fish each about an inch long. They are the kind that have suckers for mouths that can hang onto the glass. You sit on a bench beside the tank and put your feet in the water which is almost up to your knees. The fish come and nibble at any dead skin cells and clean you at least almost up to the knee. For this you pay the man about $3 for half an hour., He makes out quite well considering that the fish do all the work.


I am now in a small town in Myanmar that I can't remember the name of and if I told you you wouldn't remember it either. It was another buss ride from hell to get here. We left at 3:30 in the morning. It seems that all of the tripes I have made start very early in the morning. That meant that I had to get up at least 45 minutes before that because as I have always said a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first cup of coffee. The trip took about 12 hours over one of the worst roads I have been over. My bony but is still sore. They filled every seat on the bus up then they put 7 plastic stool in the isles and filled them up. As if that wasn't enough they put 5 more on top of ther bus.


This is the first time in quite a whil that I have been able to send emails. Once before I wrote out 3 of them and they wouldn't send. I will try and catch up here as this town dosn't have a lot to see and the internet works. More latter.


PS. I am having fun even if it doesn't sound like it.

FEB. 20, 2011

Just before last email where I wrote about another bus ride from hell we were in the area of Bagan. That is one of the most famous archaeological places in the world. The area is about the size of Manhattan Island and has 4,400 Buddhist temples spread all over the area. Some of them are supposed to be well over a thousand years old. Jake and I rented bycycles and went out to where we could climb to the top of one of the ones that had a flat top. Most don't have flat tops. It's only the oldest ones. From the top we could see probably 50 temples off in the distance. We've gotten to the place where we don't have to go see each one of them. While each are a little different they are all pretty much the same. 


More about the bus ride from hell. I didn't go into a lot of details about it other than to mention that the bus was loaded and the road was bad. As soon as we started the driver decided to torturer us with some radio program that I couldn't make out. At first I thought it was some kind of music that you can't sing, whistle or hum. that lasted for about an hour. I found out that it was a Buddhist chant. Then he put something from the radio that was some man talking, in their language, that went on and on. This bus was loaded with backpackers from all over the world and I doubt that anyoe other that the driver had the slightist idea what the man was saying. that went on for almost another hour. After that the sun was comeing up and he turned on the television. It was around then that wh hit the bad road. I've beem on some pretty bad reoad but I will say this was one of the poorest excuses for a road that I have ever been on. For much of it it was not paved. When it was paves it was only one lane wide so that when we came acros another vehicle going the other way both had to put wheels on the side of the road. Jake and I had the back seat on the bus along with three other people from Japan. we had the windows on each side. the seat that we were sitting on kept sliding forward out from under us. Periodically we would all have to get up and slide it back into place. Not easy when we all had gear to contend with. We got to where we were going though. It was only a place to stay for a short time to break up the trip. tomorrow we leave for lake Inleli. If we had made the entire trip to the Lake in one jump it would have been a 16 hout trip. the way the original plan went we were going to have to go back over that sdsame road for antoher 16 hours. I believe we wil tak a plane ride back to Mandalay.


One thing that I must add is that they are working on that road. I believe it will take them yeaRS TO GET IT RIGHT THOUGH. oNE THING THAT i HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF TILL Jake ASKED ME . he ASKED IF i HAD EVER SEEN A WHEELBARROW IN South east Asia. i HAD TO SAY THAT i HADN'T. THEY DO EVERYTHING BY HAND. i SAW WOMEN SITTING AND PUTTING ROCKS IN A BASKET THAT THEY THEN PUT ON THEIR HEADS AND CARRIED TO THE SITE AND DUMPED THE. so MUCH FOR MODERN technology.

Secor/Schute/Ponte and friends morning after halloween breakfast (2009) 

Grampa and Grammie,
flanking my parents at
their wedding reception (1972)

With Grammie and their kids (ca. 1960)